A Cartagenian Funeral

Jairo, a very close friend, lost his brother Jorge this week. It was a confusing and terrible loss. Jorge was a adored, happy and considerate man. Jairo has, yet again, has astounded me with his selflessness, always prioritizing others' needs first.

This is my second funeral since arriving in Cartagena, although I am closer with this family. How a community deals with death is indicative of its culture, Colombia as no exception. The Colombian strong sense of community and interpersonal reliance has been particularly noticeable this week.

The day he died, the vigil was in a “funeralia”, or building where families rent one of 16 rooms. While in the US this usually happens at home or at a small funeral house with only the close family and friends, hundreds of people came throughout the day to be with the family and cried openly in front of strangers. The following day was the funeral service at the cemetery, which was overall pretty similar. After the funeral, the family continues to morn for seven days. Of course in the US people visit with the family, call, send cards and flowers, and cook dinners, among other gestures; however, we also give the grieving family space and don't “bother” them too much. On the contrary, people here continue to call every day and the house is full with guests.

Differences in "family life" also create contrasts in how people deal with death. In Cartagena, families are large, and all members live in the same city, if not in the same house or right next door. People spend time with their parents, siblings, nephews/neces, children, aunts/uncles, and grandparents daily; few have to fly or drive in from other locations. Dealing with death during and after the nine day morning period together seems only natural.